“Miss Stewart, welcome to Pretty Kilting,” gushes Miss MacTavish. “And Melvyn. Dear boy, we must get you undressed. There is a lot to show your mother.” She presses a bell on the counter and starts at his blazer at once. It is soon joined on the countertop by his kilt in Stewart tartan before a miserable Melvyn is thrown into purgatory by the appearance of Miss MacTavish’s assistant. It’s Sinead! Sinead Murray from the year before last at High School.

The blond young lady hesitates to lend her employer a hand: how can she undo the waist of a petticoat worn by a boy who was her community team leader two years ago in Year 12? “Hello Melvyn,” she says in an apologetic voice which only adds to his embarrassment. “You look nice? Have you come for a change of petticoat, pet?”